Cycles are one ways in which you can think of life, I find it odd that most of the time, if I look in a journal entry from roughly the same time a year prior, it could have been written today and still say much the same. On one hand this is a bit discouraging, on the other hand, it is not, but it is unsettling. Of course, half the reason is that I write in my journals, then later reread them, then am inspired to write some more, which tends to follow the footsteps of the first. So, for example, if I had written about escaping chickens a year ago, I read it again, and somehow escaping chickens works its way into the new, and the process starts all over again. It’s not like there is a lot of chickens escaping, in fact the chickens may have only escaped once, it’s that I keep writing about the same escaping chickens, over and over again. Now, it’s not necessarily always about the chickens, it can be about anything, the point is, sometimes life, like journal entries, seems repetitive because when we look back we are inspired to repeat the same things over and over again. In part this is because humans are rather habit forming creatures to begin with, most of the time, we ourselves are not even aware of how many odd little habits we have, many of them are parts of our daily routine. You might say that forming habits, is really quite habit forming.
Ridiculous notions of escaping chickens aside*, I do seek to be, to know, and yes, enjoy, humanity, including my own, and really, if we do not know our own humanity and understand the glorious creature that we are, we will do ourselves a disservice, and those around us. I disapprove of selfishness, but at the same time I disapprove of having such a low value for ones own humanity as can happen when we do not have a respect for the idea of being human. In the outworking of many of the world’s doctrines, I have seen people hurt when humanity is minimized. When we devalue our own humanity, we lose our respect for the humanity of others. Yes, at the same time, I acknowledge it is possible to have such a high view of your own humanity that you seek to eliminate or suppress what you deem to be other ‘lesser’ sorts. There is an opposite evil as well to devaluing humanity, and that is where a lot of ridiculous notions about superiority are from. The proper view then, would be one that respects the humanity of oneself and of the other. Such a view does not leave room for prejudice, we are equals, or hatred, we are the same. In many ways humility is needed. That fine line between pride and false humility is the narrow way, but the proper way. I hate it when I see people degrading themselves, condemning themselves, and all but proclaiming themselves to be monsters. In many ways this as bothersome as someone referring to themselves as supreme or better than you. (In talent, perhaps, in humanity, never.) Despising of ones humanity can take more than one form as well, Lord Voldemort, for example is famous for exhibiting one form, despising his humanity as something to be ashamed of, seeking to dispose of it, and turning himself into the monstrous creature he became. The other is one that is ashamed of being human because of the totality of the depravity of being human, which isn’t so very different from the first, except that it doesn’t lead as much to despising of ones own humanity, so much as ones human, and therefore supposedly degraded, nature, it does not seek to see goodness in oneself or in others, and holds very little compassion or love, the first form seeks superiority to become something more, the second wishes to be dead. Either way, it tends to produce someone who is loveless and prideful, either of their deadness, or their supposed superiority. The dead have nothing to give, and the other holds no wish to do so.
And yet, despite how there is a seemingly endless repetition of yesterdays, changes do in fact occur. Good changes, bad changes, sometimes changes that seem to be one or the other, but only later are revealed for whether they truly are. Some things that seem like blessings of the moment later prove to be a curse, while other things that seem like a curse in the moment, later are revealed to be blessings. Even this blog itself, holds evidence of repetition, and certain themes weave throughout the collective whole. Ideas such as how beautiful the world is, and the inhabitants of the world, how the universe itself is more akin to a poem than a object, the wonders of language, etc. often come up throughout the blog post. I suppose life is like a wheel, it goes around and around, but it’ll get you there eventually. And while day to day, things often seem mundane and repetitive, things do occur that alter us, change us. Every once in awhile, it is true, something occurs that jolts us in a different direction, sometimes these are indeed dark moments, and sometimes we are surprised by something pleasant, either way, however, we are rarely the same person we were beforehand. At times, such changes seemed small things at the time, yet only upon reflection do we realize that something life changing has occurred. More commonly, however, is the little changes that are hardly noticed, changes that can stretch out over months or even years, but at the end of the story, held just as powerfully in altering our journey as the sudden changes.
One of the greatest surprises that life holds is the development of friendships, nothing surprises me so continuously as the development of friendships. I am not sure if I can ever truly say when exactly I began my friendships with my friends, maybe a period of time, but never really a moment. It’s like you knew you were becoming friends, but all of a sudden you find one day that these people are very important to you, and you can’t exactly explain why, or what happened. Unfortunately the opposite holds true as well, you find that people you once were close to have gone off in a different direction, and there is very little between you, you’re strangers again. It wasn’t that there was any ill will, or anything like that, it’s just a drifting apart, and as you’ve walked separate paths, you became different people. Sometimes you meet again and friendship is at times rekindled, other times, you remain walking along separately for the rest of your life. Of course there are always times of betrayal as well, but more often, friendships grow distant simply because of walking separate ways.
Just for the record, we do not have chickens.
* It is a phrase used in the movie Chicken Run.