My view today, like many days, I’ve gotten up, I’ve grabbed a bite to eat for breakfast, and checked some websites to see if there is anything new. Got ready, left, stopped for coffee. Which is where I am now. After that, I’ll spend a bit of time shopping for tonight’s dinner, and then return home. Cook dinner, do some studying, work a little on various projects, and probably try to find something to eat at some point. If the pattern follows what it has been, I’ll have a hard time falling asleep until late, late, late, and finally will repeat the whole process all over again.
One side of my personality: I do not like repetitiveness. I hate repetitiveness, and I think if it wasn’t for the fact that I need to eat and sleep for the sake of survival, I would find it too repetitive an activity.
On the other side of my personality: I like repeating things if I have a mindset that is intent upon re-experiencing a pleasant memory, and can hold almost a sentimentality about things, I will actively seek to repeat something that I associate with pleasant experiences, if I’m in the mood for it. If I’m not in the mood, even the most pleasurable experiences are too repetitive and feel vain and empty.
I am glad the month is almost over, I thought that having a set topic everyday would help, but it hasn’t, I feel very frustrated with writing these post now that the end of the month is here, and if not for the fact that tomorrow is the last day, I would consider abandoning the project, but that would be stupid now, what with one post left after this one. I would have thought the boundaries would help me, but I think that in the end, I do not work well within the confines of rules and such. I never did, and I knew that, I am better when I walk on my own road, doing my own thing, I do not work well inside boxes. I never have worked well inside boxes, something which has made many of my attempts to involve myself in things a little difficult. I am never content to not ask questions, nor do I wish to simply silence doubts. The result is having to face ideas and thoughts and journey on roads that many do indeed fear to tread, and many never do. Sometimes I do wish I could have a quiet mind, just for a bit. Thinking outside the box tends to be quite lonely, and perhaps that is why it is so much more comfortable for folks to work within boxes, but once I hit the walls, I am anything but comfortable. I should not be surprised that classroom settings were never pleasant experiences for me, despite my love of learning, and my enjoyment of being around people.
I suppose that is my view today.