First off, this is an exceedingly random post, filled with ‘Shaneish’ (Metaphors, sayings, quotes, and words of my own making.) So, it might not be entirely sensible. But, I like the occasional random post. They are most amusing for me, and perhaps just a little strange for you.
Every so often you go along, trying to make sense of something and you come across a little thing, something small, but it is enough to completely alter the entire thing you were trying to make sense of.
I have questions lots of questions, most my questions pertain to what it is that the human being actually is, I am one, naturally, I should be curious about it.
I enjoy learning, but am too easily convinced. As a result, I am often wrong, and am wholeheartedly wrong. Whether we speak of philosophies or where a comma should go in a sentence. When I’m wrong it tends it is something I use passionately.
However, one of the most enlightening years of my life was the year I made the assumption that whatever I was doing, was wrong. I don’t mean like morally wrong, or condemning, but simply incorrect. I could not believe the number of assumptions and prejudices that were revealed as a result of this experiment. It was, altogether speaking, a very productive year.
And what started it? I wasn’t always a fan of the Fantasy genre. In fact, I distinctly remember, for years, not only not liking, now get ready for it, The Lord of the Rings, but actually being venomously against it. I still lament the poor souls I used to argue with about it, I get it now. I never thought within two years after one watching of the Fellowship of the Ring, I’d not only be a passionate fan of the Lord of the Rings, but just about any other Fantasy book I could get my hands on. Within the same year, I also discovered another book series, slightly more questioned in the community I was in at the time, called Harry Potter. Lovely book series. Well, for a man who argued venomously against the Lord of the Rings, you can imagine what I had been like against Harry Potter, as much as it might seem, I was not living off on some deserted island, separated from the rest of society, I had heard of Harry Potter. Many people have heard the horror stories about people who would be rather venomous about them. That would probably have been my crowd, until I actually took the time to read them. And while folks like I would have been, might shake their heads lamenting that that Gandalf (I mean, just look at that pointy hat of his, and that, that staff! It’s outrageous!) and that little ‘arry ‘otter caused another poor soul to go a’tumblin into trouble again; Yes, I acknowledge things can always go the wrong way, not all concern is invalid just because I find it to have been mistaken in my own case, I have seen people foolishly go far outside what is wise by interpretations and misinterpretations of literature. However, for me, I found delight and wonder as though I found nourishment for a soul that had been starved for years. It was sometime in this same year that I also managed to stumble through the Wardrobe and found myself in a place where it’s always winter and never christmas. I could not resist putting a lantern in our own woods after that. (And yes, it’s wired. It lights up. It was a ton of work, but so worth it!) If someone ever buys our house, let us hope they are a fan of Narnia, or they might just scratch their wee little heads and say. “Now, why would they go and put a lantern in these ‘ere woods for?”
These days, I write my own fantasy stories, and continue to delight in the work of others. In my language studies I’ve even found some whole new stories in which to delight in. Which is cause for doing happy dances and drinking Stash Holiday Chai. (Anything that serves as an excuse to drink that particular flavor of tea. Seriously it’s good, but only seems to be locally available around Christmas, so I try to only drink it on special occasions.)
To tell the truth a mere ten years or so years ago I was much more inclined to argue, which on the whole, I’m glad I’m not so inclined towards anymore, however, being proved woefully wrong has forced me to reckon with the possibility that this might very well not have been the only area I was woefully wrong in. I have to admit, it is a troubling thought, and you keep asking yourself if your actually right. It has helped break down more prejudices and such then anything else, however, so on the whole, I am glad for it, even if it is troubling.
One movie, that’s all it took to break nearly two decades of staunch argumentativeness My single greatest regret in life is that I didn’t discover the Fantasy genre sooner. My goodness, what a dull life I must have had, a childhood without the fairy tales. What the heck did I do to learn anything that was worth anything? Oh, I could tell you roughly how far away the moon was, and several different kind of (archeological, not social) dating methods, and what a geologist might do to take a good picture. I could say why Mars was red, and explain several aspects of forensic science. (Let us say that I was comfortable with learning about dead people long before I met them in the context of fantasy. I was either a twisted child, or just into anything that seemed the least bit educational, the second more likely. I’ve always loved learning about anything I come across.) But, forget Dragons. I couldn’t tell you anything about how to slay Dragons, or ride one. Obviously, when it comes to it, there is no way possible for Bilbo to defeat Smaug the terrible. It just won’t happen, so why try? Oh, and I know it’s a popular practice to blame parents, teachers, and so forth, for this sort of things, but these blindspots where of my own making. I may have been a child, I wasn’t stupid, I did and to this day have, the capability of making decisions of my own, according to discoveries and ideas, of my own. Not taught, not told what to think. Yes, I know I’m probably blowing the circuits of how children are viewed by all sorts of people by saying that. But I was a child once, and I can still remember what it was like, I did think, independently, for myself, even then. A lot of times the response to such ideas is what kind of (insert adult or authority figure here) did he have? Humm? A notion that, while perhaps well intended, doesn’t always reckon with the idea that children can and do come up with notions of their own making.
Avoiding fairy tales is merely an Illusion of safety, but really, what do we actually learn from fairy tales? We learn that dragons can fall, and that Hobbits can succeed.
Believe me, as a small child, and we still joke about this to this day, I would watch home improvement shows, not the sitcom, but on my particular favorite channel, PBS. The closest I came to what I like now was probably Mr. Rogers, who I still find to be an inspirational man.
I suppose much of it came out of a ‘false’ sense of safety. Wee madness more like. Orcs, after all, were scary looking creatures. I never thought I’d be writing about creatures far more scary than orcs. (Raven for example, not to mention creatures I currently call ‘The Nightwish’ but will probably change the name of, as that happens to be the name of a music group. The Nightwish are skeletal, ghostly beings that are utterly deadly even to those characters of mine who are particularly powerful, even against them, they are exceedingly dangerous.) I almost enjoy scary things now.
Okay, I do enjoy the scary things now. I can’t deny it. I still love the one party I threw where I changed all the lights to green and put on a very subtle, but very spooky, howling wind sound effect. It was like eating dinner in a haunted cave, it was great! I think that was the day before I last saw, in person, some of my favorite fantasy authors, which is probably my least favorite thing about eBooks. I never see authors at book signings anymore. A sad thought indeed. But, perhaps in time, we may see authors again. I’m sure book signings have not gone the way of the dinosaur just yet.
The spooky thread keeps returning. I once discovered a spooky video on YouTube, that video led me to the video that got me started on language learning, something that I expect will completely alter my entire future. I shudder to think of all the lovely stuff I wouldn’t have learned if I hadn’t started learning languages. As such, the spooky video is endeared to me, simply as a stepping stone, yes, but without it, I wouldn’t have learned all these wonderful things I’ve learned from my language learning endeavors and I really do expect I will now be going places I never thought I would be. Funny thing is, I’d been subscribed to the channel for years, but never actually watched the videos, until this one.
One YouTube video. Unrelated to the language learning in itself, but still life changing as a result. Funny thing is, it was my love for the spooky that attracted my attention to it in my YouTube feed.
Sounds familiar. Remember, one movie.
I love how great art inspires great things, and how a few moments of a story can come against years of being wrong, and win.
It’s almost a myth of its own sort. It almost makes me delighted to be wrong, I usually get something quite valuable out of learning I’m wrong about it. I would not be writing books if not for having been wrong.
As a play on words with both the myth and the spooky aspect, though likely a theologians nightmare: As terrible as always winter and never Christmas is, one could also say that it’s a terrifying prospect where it’s always autumn but never Halloween. But, that was, in essence what my being wrong had robbed my of. The enchantment of being wrong, made it always autumn but never Halloween. I was too frightened of anything that I called ‘spooky’ to consider it. All jokes aside, this was, in short simply judging books, and even people, by apparences. It is a subtle but deadly poison that in sanitizing reality, offers one a steady diet of cotton candy and caramel corn, but is of no use against preparing one for the dragons.
Humph! Bah Zombbug! (I guess I just made a new word. Love it when that happens. Shanish: Zombbug, an undead humbug. Although, a humbug referring to a person who deceives, I suppose you could apply zombbug to some vampires.)
Slight change of topic, I think I’ll go and find some morose or upbeat music, and enjoy trying to write some more. I think I might finally have a means to start posting my books for all to read. I came across a website recently that might just do pretty much everything I wanted. It’s called wattpad. I still need to look through the site a bit to make sure it’s what I’m looking for. I like how I can post it a chapter at a time. I’ve already started on rewriting my first chapter of my first book so that I can, hopefully start posting the rest of the whole, rather massive, mythology I’ve written over the past seven years. My purpose has always been to tell a myth, and myths are made to be told. I could care less whether I get paid for it or not. I want it to be read.
All of this started because I’ve been considering something even more fundamental to my person than either myth, or holidays, or holiday chai tea for that matter. I’ve been pondering the importance and theological significance of the body. I think I’m mistaken in an assumption somewhere, and I think it has something to do with how I think of the body and theology. I can’t help but notice, there is at times a dislike of the body in me, and I have to ask why? For it is true that Christianity considers the body to be important, (most other theological philosophies, and this is an oversimplified statement, believe in the superiority or the only reality of the spirit. Diminishing or disregarding the importance of the body, of the physical.) But there is an error somewhere in my thinking, I can feel it. I can sense it, but I haven’t been able to quite identify it. But, I’ve been discovering the idea of what seems to be known as a theology of the body, and what little I’ve learned about it, is proving to be quite altering in my thinking of both myself and the world around me. Spoken or not, modern thought, in America at least, seems to ignore the importance of the physical. Either by ignoring the importance of the spiritual, or by ignoring the importance of the physical.
I’m beginning to suspect that there is something wrong with some fundamental assumption in my thinking. It’s like I know I’m wrong about something, somewhere, I can feel it, but I don’t quite know what exactly it is that I’m wrong about. It’s a very unsettling feeling. I think I will have to continue to study the matter, for I’m growing suspicious that much what unsettles me is because of some misbelief somewhere in my thinking, and for my part, I’m inclined, based on how I react to situations, and what my fears are, and so forth, to believe that I am wrong in how I think of the physical. The thing is, I know these questions are addressed extensively throughout the new testament, but I can’t seem to put them altogether to make sense of them. But, to realize I’m in error, I suppose, is a good first step to finding the correction of it, and hopefully, my sense of where the error lies, will help narrow it down so that it can be corrected.
Which is why I say, and I can’t remember if I’ve said this before, but take anything you read on this site with a grain of salt. I write to think through my own questions, and sometimes I come up with good conclusions, sometimes not. I may write what seems at the time to me to be a brilliant post, and to me, at the time seems correct, but is actually about as far from being correct as it can get. I dislike the notion of removing things I know longer agree with myself on however, so I let them be.